Gratitude: The Life Skill That Lasts Longer Than Leftovers
Why teaching your kids to say “thank you” might just save the world (or at least your sanity)

By Julie Adamic, Executive Director at John Hancock Charter School 

Let’s be honest. Teaching kids to be grateful sometimes feels like trying to teach a cat to fetch. You hold out hope, you model the behavior, and then they roll their eyes and ask why dinner doesn’t look like a YouTube cooking video.

But here’s the thing: gratitude matters. Big time. It’s not just about teaching them to say “thank you” when Grandma hands them a sweater they will never, ever wear. It’s about raising humans who recognize the good in their lives—even when it’s served with green beans.

Gratitude Is the Secret Sauce of Life

Gratitude helps kids become happier, kinder, more empathetic, and more resilient. In fact, it might just be the magic ingredient that helps them bounce back from life’s challenges—like not making the soccer team or forgetting their science project... again.

The research is clear: grateful kids sleep better, stress less, and grow up to be more confident and connected. Basically, teaching your child gratitude is like giving them a social-emotional superpower—and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Step 1: Model Gratitude (AKA Walk the Talk)

Kids watch everything we do. Everything. Including how we react when the drive-thru gets our order wrong. If we want grateful kids, we have to be grateful grown-ups.

• Say thank you—to the grocery clerk, the mail carrier, your partner, even the dog (he is a very good boy).
• Talk about the little things—“I’m so thankful it’s sunny today” or “I’m grateful for this weirdly perfect avocado.” (There is nothing better than a great avocado.)
• Write thank-you notes—Yes, actual notes with a pen. Let your child help, even if all they add is a glitter sticker and some questionable spelling.

Step 2: Make Gratitude a Daily Habit (Without Making It a Chore)

We’re not talking about a 45-minute meditation followed by interpretive dance (unless that’s your thing). Gratitude can be woven into your daily life with a few simple routines:

• Dinner table shoutouts – “What’s one thing you’re thankful for today?” (Try not to roll your eyes when they say “Wi-Fi” for the third night in a row.)
• Gratitude journals – Let them write or draw one thing they’re thankful for each day.
• Gratitude jar – Keep slips of paper handy. When someone feels thankful, write it down and drop it in the jar. Read them together when spirits are low or during family meetings—or even better, on a Monday morning.

Step 3: Do Good, Feel Good

Kids understand gratitude more deeply when they experience giving and kindness firsthand.

• Volunteer together – Even little ones can make cards for a senior center or collect food for a pantry.
• Random acts of kindness – Challenge them to surprise someone with a kind deed. (Bonus: it’s fun to watch their creativity take off.)
• Donate toys or clothes – Have them choose items to give to others and talk about how those things can help someone in need.

Step 4: Gratitude Grows with Patience and Praise

Let’s not pretend your preschooler will suddenly start quoting Oprah and giving thanks for every Cheerio. Gratitude is a practice, not a one-and-done lesson.

• Be patient – Some days will be full of whining, complaining, and drama worthy of an Oscar. Keep showing up.
• Celebrate progress – “I noticed you said thank you to your sister when she shared her crayons. That was really thoughtful.” Specific praise helps kids connect the dots.

The “Six-Pack” of Gratitude (No Gym Membership Required)

The experts talk about six pillars that make gratitude stick:

1. Relatedness – Value people over things.
2. Sincerity – A heartfelt “thanks” beats a forced one every time.
3. Empathy – Understand what others do for us.
4. Self-regard – Know your worth, and appreciate what you bring to the table.
5. Integrity – Be grateful even when no one’s watching.
6. Humility – Recognize you’re not the center of the universe (hard for most 8-year-olds, but we try).

Why This Matters (Besides Fewer Tantrums)

Gratitude sets the foundation for your child’s whole life. Kids who practice gratitude:

• Cope better with stress
• Have stronger friendships
• Do better in school
• Sleep better
• Are less anxious
• Are generally... well, nicer humans

And let’s be real—nicer humans are exactly what the world needs right now.

So tonight, before your child closes their eyes, ask them what they’re thankful for. Maybe it’s their dog. Maybe it’s dessert. Maybe it’s you (we can hope). Whatever it is, know that every small “thank you” is a brick in the foundation of a kinder, more grounded, and grateful future.

And to you, dear parent, grandparent, caregiver—thank you. You’re doing the hard, good work of raising the next generation. And that? That deserves some serious gratitude.

(And maybe a chocolate bar. You’ve earned it.)