GRIT Happens: Teaching Your Kids (and Yourself) to Stick with It
GRIT Happens: Teaching Your Kids (and Yourself) to Stick with It
By Julie Adamic, Executive Director at John Hancock Charter School
Mom of six, educator of many, lifelong learner, and occasional midnight snacker
Let’s be honest. If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to give up on something hard—like assembling IKEA furniture, understanding middle school slang, or resisting the Costco-sized bag of dark chocolate—I’d be lounging in a hammock on a beach right now sipping something with a little umbrella in it (Non-alcoholic, of course).
But here I am, talking about grit and growth mindset—because, frankly, there’s almost nothing more important we can teach our kids (or ourselves). And before you say, “Well, my kid just isn’t gritty,” let me stop you right there. Grit can be grown. And no, you don’t have to sign up for a bootcamp or eat kale to do it.
So What Is Grit?
Let’s break it down, old-school style:
Grit = Passion + Perseverance over the long haul. It’s that “I-will-not-quit-even-when-I-hate-this-and-want-to-throw-my-math-book” attitude.
Example: Your child keeps trying to solve a tricky math problem even though they’re frustrated, and no snacks have appeared magically to save them. That’s grit.
Real-life adult version: You keep showing up at work even when the printer jammed, your drink of choice spilled (I love a Zip Fizz on an early morning ), and someone scheduled a 4 p.m. meeting. Heroic.
Growth Mindset: The “Magic Sauce”
Growth mindset is the belief that you can get smarter, stronger, and better—with effort.
Fixed mindset says: “I’m just not good at math.”
Growth mindset says: “I can’t do this… yet.”
It’s the difference between slamming the metaphorical door and cracking it open to let in a little hope (and maybe a breeze if it’s hot).
How Grit + Growth Mindset Work Together (aka the Dream Team)
Imagine this:
- Your child messes up a science project.
- Grit keeps them trying again instead of blaming the cat or pretending they were “just going for abstract art.”
- Growth mindset helps them believe that they can learn from the mistake and improve next time.
Together, these two create resilience, and in a world where Wi-Fi is fragile and middle school drama is fierce, resilience is gold.
Let’s Make It Practical: Tips for Parents
Model the Mess
Let your kids see your struggles. Tell them about the time you burnt the lasagna (again) but learned to double-check the oven setting.
Talk About the “Hard Thing”
Borrow Angela Duckworth’s “Hard Thing Rule.” Everyone in the family chooses one tough thing to work on and sticks with it—even when it’s hard. (No, finishing a Netflix series doesn’t count.)
Praise the Process
Instead of “You’re so smart,” try “I love how you stuck with that tough problem.”
Yes, it sounds cheesy at first. Yes, it works.
Celebrate Failures (Yes, Really)
Try a “What I Messed Up Today” dinner conversation. You’ll be amazed at how powerful it is to normalize messing up, learning, and laughing about it together.
Use Growth Mindset Lingo
Phrases like:
- “I haven’t figured it out yet.”
- “What can I try differently?”
- “Mistakes help me grow.”
Make these part of your daily family script, right next to “Did you brush your teeth?” and “Where is your other shoe?!”
For Your Toolbox: Growth Activities That Work
Read together: Try books like “I Can’t Do That… YET” or “Mistakes Are How I Learn.”
Watch & discuss: Moana, Finding Nemo, The Blind Side — characters who fail, struggle, persist, and grow.
Keep a “Victory Journal”: Write down little wins. That time they didn’t give up. That time you finally learned how to use your new phone.
Create a Grit Chart: Track how often you and your child stick with something hard. Celebrate with a reward that doesn’t involve more screen time (may I suggest baking cookies… because math and sugar = magic?).
And Finally… For You, Dear Grown-Up
Teaching your child to be gritty and growth-minded starts with you. It’s okay if you didn’t grow up hearing about this stuff. It’s okay if you’re still working on it. (Me too.) The beauty is—we can grow at any age.
So the next time your child says, “I can’t do it,” or you think, “I’m not cut out for this parenting thing,” take a breath. Remind yourself: I can’t do it… YET.
You're doing amazing. Really. So go ahead, mess up, try again, and maybe—just maybe—celebrate by eating a cookie you didn’t burn this time.
You’ve got grit. Now pass it on. 🧠💪✨
—Julie
(Who once got a C in college algebra but now helps others do math without crying. Growth mindset, friends. Growth mindset.)